I want to be buried with my mobile phone
To ring in the changes at my new home
With central heating and a marble en-suite
And thermal socks for my poor cold  feet
I'll be able to give in to a takeaway
And watch favourite movies on a rainy day
And if I'm feeling a bit under the weather
I'll talk to you until I begin to feel better
I've party hats, fairy cakes & songs to sing
In case somebody should drop in
Which is more likely than you'd think
As my coffin roof is on the blink
I'll be leaving you now as I've a waiting call
From my friend over by the cemetery wall
I watched the service yesterday through my periscope Burying him with his mobile
For a joke, But he'll have the last laugh
When his bill drops through their door
Fourteen hundred and forty minutes a day, for eternity and evermore

Michael Ashby, Sidmouth

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